Dear Mike

Here's the thing Mike, Now that you are gone, I find being the keeper of Agent86 history awkward at best, because to be honest it should fall to GL right? Especially since she actually visited Arcata with you and I haven't been back to that vortex of weirdness in decades. None of the people in the Humboldt Punk group on the FB mayhem-generator even know who the fuck I am. Well, except for Dario. That's right, I said (wrote) Dario. Yer pal, my on-again, off-again buddy (I thought we were on the skids again because I mistakenly sent him a link to what I thought was an online sale on L&R merch, but instead was a link to online books and he was, as is sometimes apparently still a thing with him, pissed off). So I had assumed it'd be a while before I heard from him - and I guess it has been about 6 monthes. Anyway, every now and then he pops up in my FB feed, which I don't really patrol much. To my surprise when I saw the alert, he is a member of the Humboldt County ...

It's a damn good thing you aren't here to see this Mike. It's all falling apart. Super-late stage capitalism is way more horrifying than I ever expected. Roe is going down, and once that domino falls, it's curtains for this country...though I still often wonder if the sheer size of this social experiment that masquerades as a superpower will save it from full-on Handmaid's Tale, Taliban, full-on slavery for women nonsense at the hands of the raging christian lunatic nazis who apparently are so incredibly terrified of melanin that they are willing to live in the literal stoneage. I mean, what do I do, 30 years down the line with more of this insane Phyllis Schafly gender traitor bullshit. Women who are convinced they are lesser, dumber, not worthy of being fully-functioning members of society? WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK, MIKE??? Or George Orwell was right. Wait....we already knew that. also, after the Depp-Herd trial, now defamation of anyone with status or $ (same thing, ...

It involves daily deep dives into pop music from the early Teens that I completely missed as I was busy being a debauched Seattle chef. But now, in my mostly heartbroken and uninspired middle-aged crisis, I find solace in what appears to be some pure seratonin in pop form. Thanks to Harry and his pals, you guys (and my local KEXP djs) are the raft I need to get me through this part to whatever happens next.

Hey buddy. Suppose it's just the pandemic ptsd talking, but there just seems to be so little point in planning anything anymore, it's all just kind of...weak. Nothing seems to be improving - it all just seems to be settling. I just paid a hundred bucks for 2 tickets to see our old pals (heh) in those Jaw bands who are doing a little West Coast reunion swing in celebration of the (it's a good thing you're dead, because this almost puts me under) 25th anniversary of "Dear You". I couldn't help it, especially after missing out the last time they were here (I mean I went and walked to see them perform in the stadium parking lot, but still), plus, Kim and J's band is opening. Hilariously retro and yet potentially life-affirming. And who knows maybe Chris and or J and or Kim will remember me? I mean, hey it's only been 25YEARS. Fuck me, I'm old. That being said, I hope this first show post-pandemic won't a) get me sick or b)depress the shit out o...

(this post is from 9/2020, previously unpublished) Jesus effing christ Mike, you should see this. I mean, where to even start with this nonsense. Every damn chapter of this life gets weirder. Older and weirder, I mean it makes the most sense, but if I could just not be...argh. My brain hurts all the damn time now and no amount of trying to kill it (or even just put it to sleep) is working. I'm in Reno and shit is so ridiculous, it would seem I'm making it up. God bless the silly socialists and their commie pals who are fucking madly trying to keep the lid on this gang of...what to even call them? Who needs an anarchism seminar NOW? THIS GIRL. Listening to 7 Seconds is only gonna make me more feisty, but that is probably what it's gonna take to keep me from punching someone. Hah, we know I won't punch anyone, I'll just keep instigating. These fuckers. How is it you can just genuinely want people to do their own thing, and stop fucking power-tripping? I have been fuc...

Awwww, Mike. Rob got a tattoo of the Won't Give Up cover today. I got choked up, and my eyes almost teared up. Which is pretty damn emo for anything that doesn't involve me being personally criticized or reviewed in any way. It looks fantastic (though it's missing cribis' signature). You would be so stoked though. He is, other than you, me and Scott (oh, and I suppose GL but, I'm not gonna lie, I don't think she loved the band as much as she loved BEING in a band, which she clearly loved more than I did, but I digress) is the only person who really seemed to GET something from being in Agent86 - or at least who is willing to admit it. Goddamn it, we lived the life, didn't we? We really were living in the moment, making it up as we went along, riding the wave. I mean, like any wave, it runs out, but you....you fucking held on to the end. Makes me feel like a coward even now. I watch Jimmy Flame, living his crazy amazing life of regeneration and I think: damn...

Hey Mike. So, it's not better. Young angry guys are still mowing people down in public places all over the US. Last week, it was massage parlors in Atlanta and this week, grocery stores. Fuck this noise. I am disgusted by this country more than ever - because the whole damn pandemic, not one shooting - shit starts opening up and BAM we are back at it. Soon, I suppose we can expect kids to be slaughtered on the reg again once they are back in-person. I want to fucking call my stupid sister in law who has been posting non-stop bitching about how her kids "deserve" to be back in school. Yeah, great, then I can go back to worrying that Mason will die in the lunchroom. And then, today, at work, I had to frigging go all anarchy bear on a poor 20-year old kid who was defending Bezos' "right" to be "successful" and I couldn't help myself: NO ONE NEEDS 300+ BILLION DOLLARS. That's not success, it's just greed. I tried to couch it in "hey, i...