Dear Mike

Hi MIke. So, what am I supposed to do? Both the north and south borders of this country are closed (i mean, as closed as they can be in terms of legal entry - there's gotta be some rivers and mountains you could cross somewhere I supposed if you really needed to get in or out, but for this rant, lets just go with closed as in officially), social gatherings have been canclled and subject to arrest, businesses have been forced to close their small independent businesses (but not industries controlled by people with significant real estate concerns, investments, etc), schools have been closed....the basic forms of news and information are literally coming from tv/internet sources exclusively. None of it is free anymore. There are no open venues for music or performance. Even sports have been called off (that's where it actually got super scary for me, when they hit the redneck pastimes). They have people terrified of a disease that is a strain of a common virus. We are literally l...

Hi. So...everything except hospitals, construction sites, city workers, grocery stores & pharmacies are open. Buses are free, but enter from the back. The playgrounds are closed, and to be honest none of this is any fun when everyone is being a social dropout. I dunno man. Last night (or maybe the night before? I dunno, it all blends together now) the idiot in the white house floated the idea that people are gonna have to die in order to save the economy. Just put it right out there, and people buy it. All my life, I have wondered how Nazis thought, and now, now I'm seeing it happen in real time. People calling for martial law to keep others indoors to prevent this flu from spreading. I'm torn, because sometimes it is like anarchy is creeping in, then it puts on a wild socialism mask, and then people catch on and everyone drops that and starts waving their american flag sweatshirts around. I am at a loss, and cannot believe you are not here to see this shit go down. All ove...

Hi. So, this is just bullshit. I can't keep doing this. Maybe it's because I'm immature or unable to cope with reality, or whatever, but fuck this bullshit of people dying, especially when they seem to be finally pulling their shit together (I'm definitely not talking about you, obviously, though maybe, sorta?). So, there I was mindlessly flipping through fb on my phone at the dogpark because the pup was doing her dogyy thing, and I was seeing all these posts about Bircho, and I didn't read them, I just noticed they were people posting old pictures, and saying nice things and tagging him. I suppose I blew it off thinking it was his birthday or something. Flash forward 5 hours and I dip into the fucking kool-aid again, and there it was: fucking Bircho died in his sleep last night. Heart attack maybe? Not clear yet. But still. It's some full-on bullshit. Our generation is small and getting smaller by the goddamn minute. I'm not gonna lie Mike, this is horrib...

Hi. Hitting this early, because the sun is out, and I have every intention of getting out in it alone with the pup. That being said, I was scrolling thru the ol' FB feed and came across our old housemate Mark's video of him busking this morning at a Metro stop, which he's been doing since we first met him 30 years ago (!!!) at the Greenhouse, when he was delivering the CityPaper, and had Nicki the dog at his side at all times. Listening to him play (which, if possible is even more lovely than it was then, or maybe, I'm just more able to appreciate his gift now) made me immediately think: I would have never met him if it hadn't been for Mike. So, thank you. So many of the amazingly talented and unique folks I have met in my life have come because I followed you to DC, and to Europe, and to Eugene. I know I thanked you a couple times generally, but never really knew if you understood what I meant. Sure, I would have made plenty of connections on my own, but I am forev...

Hi. Spent most of today with my brother and my mom, a dynamic which has changed so much since the 90's (even the Oughts, to be honest, in fact, the last 5 years, in particular, have seen them totally come around to the dark side, that is: learn to distrust the government in a daily, reflexive way. Just watched the last Dem candidate debate, (well, the last hour of it) and then stumbled on to the Johnny Depp version of Sweeny Todd, which I believe is a Tim...uh, the goth nerd director? Yeah, it is flat out insane that the goth aesthetic was so normalized. Punk rock truly has changed the culture of this world, but not nearly in any of the ways we had planned or hoped for. It's Bernie and Biden, by the way, and isn't THAT A BITCH. I will feel alot better voting for Crazy Uncle Joe (who I at least don't hate as much as HRC, but literally dreading having to vote for. 30 years ago, I would have been into it, but these days: fuck a septuagenarian white guy) if he chooses Liz, ...

Hi. So, every day it gets weirder. As much as I try not to think about all the conversations we used to have, back in those heady days in Arcata, when everything seemed important and vital and talking for hours was our thing. Sure, we fucked like rabbits, but in between, we planned all the ways the empire would fall. We watched all the news, listened to all the radio shows, read all the zines, listened to the music, imagined how things would fall to shit. It always revolved around the war machine, funded by corporate flacks, sure, but ultimately it was going to be the military-industrial complex. To be fair to us, it could still be that. Neither of us anticipated (did anyone?) the power of social media though. Of the rednecks dabbling in punditry. Of politicians seemingly actually being cold-blooded reptiles who do not give a fuck about people. We knew the power the rich had, but that sort of "rich" seems so innocuous now. This super-wealthy layer of people, who have used the...

Hi. I've been meaning to write for a while, but to be honest, it's hard where to know where to start. So many weird, little things happen over the days that remind me of you, or of someone, we both know (knew?) that I should probably be scribbling it down, because...well, my memory is not getting any better these days. You've been gone almost a year now buddy, and though I hadn't seen you physically in years, the good ol' internet allowed us to stay in touch anyway. It's hard to explain to people, even the people closest to me how strange it is to not have you around even in just the greater sense of the world. If anything, it has made me very aware of how much I was living in the moment (which is, honestly just a romantic way of saying "not paying attention") and that I am always looking for context in the things that happen locally and globally. You were absolutely a yardstick for a certain type of context, and I miss it, even though (and I suppose i...