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It's all coming apart.

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Walk of Fame.

Hey Mike, so today (or maybe it was yesterday - telling time and keeping track of days is a struggle outside of work these days because it's either keeping track of the Nazi takeover, or keeping track of my slow march to death. anyway, Green Day got a star on the walk of fame in hollywood today. I'd be lying if I didn't say I think it's awesome. I think of how much shit they got from the MRR crowd, the crowd we put all our ethos in, only to watch it implode and utlimately turn on us too. so mayny fucking rules they had for what "was" punk rock. Green Day is awesome. I don't actually know how your were feeling about them in those last years - I always vaguely remember you being pissed at them - not for selling out, but more because they were offered the option of "selling out" - after all, it was honestly, all you ever wanted. I'm still sorry you never got that offer, but also know it was because you always left it up to others to make it happ...

Another one exits the (burning) building.

Hey Mike, So, my mom died about 90 minutes ago, I was here holding her hand the whole way. She was fading pretty quick in the last 3 days and when she new she was going she reached out for my hand and I held it and kept telling her how much I and all of us loved her. Soon she'd be out of pain and back riding horses and playing with all the dogs. Give her a hug for me if you happen to end of on the same extistential plane as she's on. Death is fucking lame. It's just done. She just went away, and I have to say after that experience I have a hard time believeing anyone could possibly believe there is a heaven or a hell. There is clearly only sweet release from the struggle of life, right? And you have to be pretty thankful for the things you get to do and the people you get to meet. I am so thankful for all of it, and I guess that's one of the advantages of losing my dad so early (almost 30 years ago exactly, she came really fucking close to matching the date) I not only ...

Too old to be this bummed out.

Hi Mike, What's weird, is that it's all the same, and yet so different. I am gonna die soon, like you. I'm gonna be a blip in the world. As tortured as I am sometimes by the feeling that I should have done more, changed more, worked harder, been a bigger pain in everyone's ass, I am also now finally in that endgame where I am working from home, kind of fine with dying tomorrow. It's weird. Sure, there are plenty of things I'd still like to do, and places to go. However, I'm also pretty fucking comfortable with it all being done tomorrow, and Mike, honestly so much of that has to do with you. Though you and I wouldn't have been you and I if I hadn't fucking tapped your shoulder in in Mass Comm 38 years ago. I need to be clear about that: I hit you up. People (Dawn, mostly I think) will say it was maybe a bad choice. But I don't think so. I think, even though I never took most of the chances that came while I was with you (though I took a lot of t...

drilling down on the why

Hi Mike, I have been saying ever since Scott's friend (and, to be honest he was kinda my friend too at one point) Chris L went down the MAGA rabbit hole that one of the things that really pissed me off about all of them post-2016, and then after Jan 6 (post-2020 where I got a 3 month master-class in canvassing and actually talking to people about the election and bvoiting) is the lack of experience IN REAL LIFE any of them actually had in protesting anything. They were all people who bitched and moaned, but never voted. They never went to rallies, they never boycotted, they rarely had ever even been part of a strike or other sort of organized action. Meanwhile, our little GenX cadre, especially the DIY punk rock folk, have been doing it in some form since we were kids. I remember being fully awake to vote for Mike Lowery in the early 80's. Knowing I disagreed with my dad (though, it seems, he was a Democrat and mom was the REpublican, but still) and wanted to speak my mind. I w...

Internet win!

Hey Mike! Something kinda cool happened this weekend, completely out of the blue. You're favorite Croat is currently spending his traditional "Every 3 years" vacation in the US biking the East Coast. On Saturday night, one of your favorite drummers (so favorite that you actually fucking PAID him!) who is living in Baltimore now, Jimmy Flame, was playing a gig with his new band Unung Heroes (he's also going back to Loyola for his Master's but that's a different post) at a house party. Sometime around 10:30 pm Saturday night, out of the blue Flame messaged me saying "I'm hanging our with Dario (Adam) in DC at a show I'm playing! He says Hi!" I was totally blown away and delighted, how cool is it that the world we created offers the opportunity for these things to happen. I honestly don't know that Jimmy and Dario met before - but I am pretty sure Adam knows who Jimmy is and that he played with us....but maybe he didn't and they just sta...

Kiss Off

Hey Mike. Wallowing a bunch lately - but then I try and spin it, because what if I end up like my mom not being able to remember ANYTHING? Might as well roll around in it while I still can - especially as this fucking flat patch of life is really a slog. Anyway, the Violent Femmes came on my Sp*tify feed and I immediately thought about one of my earliest dates with you (possibly the earliest? Hard to remember, since it's all so rum-soaked and speed-blended). That Violent Femmes show that I only remember from the seats in Van Duzer (I think - it was definitely a theater, so I think that was the only HSU location then for that?) and definitely, as I'm doing a deep dive into VF, explains my affinity for Jonathan Richman. Though I still hate the Blister song that has been played out, they are pretty damn punk rock and arty and all of that weirdo energy I loved about punk initially. I remember ripping down a VF poster off a pole, though literally do not remember if that was before ...