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Too old to be this bummed out.

Hi Mike, What's weird, is that it's all the same, and yet so different. I am gonna die soon, like you. I'm gonna be a blip in the world. As tortured as I am sometimes by the feeling that I should have done more, changed more, worked harder, been a bigger pain in everyone's ass, I am also now finally in that endgame where I am working from home, kind of fine with dying tomorrow. It's weird. Sure, there are plenty of things I'd still like to do, and places to go. However, I'm also pretty fucking comfortable with it all being done tomorrow, and Mike, honestly so much of that has to do with you. Though you and I wouldn't have been you and I if I hadn't fucking tapped your shoulder in in Mass Comm 38 years ago. I need to be clear about that: I hit you up. People (Dawn, mostly I think) will say it was maybe a bad choice. But I don't think so. I think, even though I never took most of the chances that came while I was with you (though I took a lot of them: I applied to be the booker at 9:30).... (ok. too drunk on 12/06/2024 to finish so we'll stop here, the bottom was written 11/26 of this year) Well, it happened, and we are gonna do this nonsense again, and this time, the radical Christian bullshit contingent has taken the wheel, for real. This isn't PMRC, or Jerry Falwell shit - this time it's some real Nazi, tear-up-the-constitution stuff. All my life I wondered what the Fall of Rome was like on a day-to-day level. Now I know. Fucking internet. Literally ruining everything: the planet, human brains, everything. Sigh. No amount of kids playing angry music is gonna get us out of this one. All that is really left is to wait for the computers to take over and extinguish humans because we are useless to the world as a whole. Recently the meme about how Musk is pouring all this money into creating a livable Mars, when he COULD actually use that money to make the world here for all of us better. All the fucking billionaires man, all of them. It's so depressing and I'm sad and lonely and want to cry (but can't) all the time. Yay, holiday time is a treat :(

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