Skip to main content

Another one exits the (burning) building.

Hey Mike, So, my mom died about 90 minutes ago, I was here holding her hand the whole way. She was fading pretty quick in the last 3 days and when she new she was going she reached out for my hand and I held it and kept telling her how much I and all of us loved her. Soon she'd be out of pain and back riding horses and playing with all the dogs. Give her a hug for me if you happen to end of on the same extistential plane as she's on. Death is fucking lame. It's just done. She just went away, and I have to say after that experience I have a hard time believeing anyone could possibly believe there is a heaven or a hell. There is clearly only sweet release from the struggle of life, right? And you have to be pretty thankful for the things you get to do and the people you get to meet. I am so thankful for all of it, and I guess that's one of the advantages of losing my dad so early (almost 30 years ago exactly, she came really fucking close to matching the date) I not only got a good slap in the face that one day, we are just gone. Anyway, I'll have more to say once I get some sleep - these last 48 hours with her were rough. But I have to tell you two things: one, you will be delighted to know Jackie spent the last month smoking joints like a pro; it really seemed to help her relax and deal with the pain. Plus, I would let her smoke them without having the doors open (wouldn't let her do that with the tobacco) and two: she got off this fucked up USA circus train bfore it comes fully off the rails. I'm so happy she didn't have to watch the rest of what was left of America go up in literal flames. That said, I miss you, especially as once again I'm going through the loss of a parent all on my own. Luckily Scott and I are still best friends, so all will be good, and we are solid on mark. Anyway, that's it for now, but if you see her in the stardust out there (she's getting creamated too) spark a bowl with her, she loves a nice indica. :)m

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Kids Today

Hey Mike. Look, I know you always wanted a kid - on our first option to become parents you very vividly made the case that "If we have a kid and teach it to play drums, we'll always have a drummer" - or you may have said it on the occasion of our second chance to have a kid. But either or both times, it struck me as not the best way to approach parenthood. Of course, in hindsight, there's never a best time, or way to have kids. That being said, I am currently both super happy to not be responsible for the aboslute monstrosity of a generation that "Z" is - because in my head, I was all set to regret that I won't have anyone to take care of me in my old age (should I manage to live that long) and relived that none of this bullshit is my fault. Lately though, I don't know if any kid I would have had would give two shits about me (or you) at this point anyway. I mean the one kid you did have has changed their gender, and seems fully on board (as one wou...
Post a Comment
Read more

Kiss Off

Hey Mike. Wallowing a bunch lately - but then I try and spin it, because what if I end up like my mom not being able to remember ANYTHING? Might as well roll around in it while I still can - especially as this fucking flat patch of life is really a slog. Anyway, the Violent Femmes came on my Sp*tify feed and I immediately thought about one of my earliest dates with you (possibly the earliest? Hard to remember, since it's all so rum-soaked and speed-blended). That Violent Femmes show that I only remember from the seats in Van Duzer (I think - it was definitely a theater, so I think that was the only HSU location then for that?) and definitely, as I'm doing a deep dive into VF, explains my affinity for Jonathan Richman. Though I still hate the Blister song that has been played out, they are pretty damn punk rock and arty and all of that weirdo energy I loved about punk initially. I remember ripping down a VF poster off a pole, though literally do not remember if that was before ...
Post a Comment
Read more

Since you've been gone.

Hi. I've been meaning to write for a while, but to be honest, it's hard where to know where to start. So many weird, little things happen over the days that remind me of you, or of someone, we both know (knew?) that I should probably be scribbling it down, because...well, my memory is not getting any better these days. You've been gone almost a year now buddy, and though I hadn't seen you physically in years, the good ol' internet allowed us to stay in touch anyway. It's hard to explain to people, even the people closest to me how strange it is to not have you around even in just the greater sense of the world. If anything, it has made me very aware of how much I was living in the moment (which is, honestly just a romantic way of saying "not paying attention") and that I am always looking for context in the things that happen locally and globally. You were absolutely a yardstick for a certain type of context, and I miss it, even though (and I suppose i...
Post a Comment
Read more