Dear Mike

 New Year's Eve, and not much has changed. I have been sick for well over two weeks now, convinced it's either my heart, my lungs, my brain or any combination of the above. The dog had a seizure yesterday, the first in a while (though of course I haven't ever tracked them, but they do seem to happen a couple times a year now, less often than they did in the mid 2010s) ((the "mid-2010s"?? Good god, how is this even still happening?)) but it made me want to mention, or document something about KC, and I suppose is true with other dogs who live their entire lives in an urban place that is constantly changing - but she is always remembering places we used to frequent. She will still stop at the doorway where the entrance to Charles and David's pet store was. The other day, on the way to the library, she stopped at the door of the last Bartell's we used to frequent. She often tries to pull to McCoy's a place we used to go a lot, but as I get older and less ...

 Hey Mike, Where to even start? With Israel and Hammas going at it yet again - slaughtering and terrorizing innocent people on both sides, again. Fucking religion is the single worst human trait, and no one, not even the most beatific Buddhist is going to change my mind. It's tragic, and now that we have all this immediate flooding of live broadcasts from people's phones on the ground - the carnage and destruction escalates not only my rage but my feelings of despair.  I guess it's fine that the final sweet release from this stupid, stupid world will be due to someone's misplaced desire to control others - rather than the epic continent-shearing earthquake or meteor hit. Fucking dinosaurs. Speaking of actual faultlines - had a nice earthquake on Sunday night - about a 4.5 (which I reflexively guessed correctly, and felt necessary to share with everyone; I even texted Karen). There was this delightful moment where the shaking was at what ended up being its peak and it hi...

Hey Mike, I don't even know what that title even means, but I'm listening to DCFC and am having a hard time keeping my head up right now. Everyone's parents are dying, on top of all of our people dying because...I don't know, we had too much fun? Didn't take good care of ourselves? Didn't follow the rules?  I don't fucking know, and it's killing me. Everything feels like the fallout from not having made the right choices, and yet, I feel like I am only aware of it because I did live the life like it was a wave to surf - but apparently, I'm a shitty surfer? Dunno. I watched the Beatles doc that Ron Howard made and am even more fascinated by how fame manifested more than half a century ago, and how its so much the same, and so very different now. Also, this thing where I keep believing in stuff and it just always never holds up. It never is what I think it is, what I expect it to be. EVER. I mean, I spent my college years secretly hoping Joe Biden woul...

A change is gonna come - I have not spent almost 60 years on this planet to sit in this closet and wait for my other retina to burn off the back of my eye and listen to GenZ humming mindlessly while constantly fucking doing the most un-teamwork-y shit all day long. I deserve to be spell-checking stupid AI-created content for websites that millenials scroll through mindlessly from the porch of my fucking teardrop trailer parked in a WalMart parking lot, or something. This is not how I go out, goddamn it.

Hi. Just wanted to share that as I was listening to a Spotify mix of my favorite songs, "Was It Worth It?" played. Now it's not the version I played on (apparently none of those are online, which I assume I can thank Scott VR and GL for) but probably the version that is closest to the one on the cassette of the same name. I just wanna say Mike, in case I hadn't said it (though I'm pretty sure I have, more than once, and especially in those years with exSMRGE) I think it is your best written song, and I loved playing it so much. I think it still holds up (unfortuantely, given the subject matter - I wish I could say it isn't relevant because we haven't had a shooting like that in so very long, but nope, we had one yesterday in St Louis, and a school one in Nashville last week and...ect) and just a really great punk rock sound and a realy glimpse at what we should have been, had either of us been more focused. Ah well. Anyway, miss ya buddy, thanks for the me...

Let's just get into it: Hola! It's me again - sorry to keep this constant barrage of mail but I'm SO LONELY!! Ack. It's the usual, and today (let's see, uh, Thursday, the 15th of...uhm, ah, yes: OCTOBER yay. On the autostrada from Rome to Foggia I'm bummin because I don't have enough energy to attempt to obtain a cup of coffee, and Adam has already shut down on us and his translating ability. So that's nice. Plus we're payin ghimt to treat us like shit this time, which makes Mike and I partucularily happy. It makes Rob nothing, 'cause he's just floating aimlessly now, sulking a lot more. Ah well. So I'm just watching the amazingly beautiful Italian (Adriatic) coast zip by. It's all so green and hilly, with these either sheer cliffs to the coast, or sort of a rolling hill that ends in a sandy beach with a fabulously blue ocean.But do we get to partake of any of it? Nah, we gotta go to Foggia to play another lame show I'm sure. Oh y...

Honestly man, I don't even know what to say anymore. There's the part where I want to say that I have never, ever felt as physically horrible as I do currently. I dunno if it's the covid, the covid vax, general lack of taking care of myself, the steady march of time on my physical being matched by the psychic degredation that the entire world is experiencing or what, but damn, I am not digging anything right now. Except for the puggle of course, but dogs have always been the only reason to keep going to be honest. So, the grifting blowhard ex-president looks to be getting actually indicted, but honestly, to what end? I have literally given up any hope of Americans ever being capable of critical thinking on any sort of useful level. I suppose all the states have always passed (or not struck down, in the case of the wannabe confederate lunkheads) bullshit civil rights squashing legislation, but after Roe getting the national treatment, and weekly train wrecks that point direc...