Skip to main content

'Round and round.

Hey. Per usual, this didn't take off as I had intended it, even though I potentially have more time to spend rambling than ever before, but am so consumed by malaise that it just sits here. Much like the broken filling in my mouth that needs to be fixed, but doesn't hurt - I just dick around with it from time to time, but never actually...nah, that's a terrible analogy. Who really needs an anology anyway? It is what it is: an underused blog. I can't get excited about day-to-day rambling like I used to. My opinion in general just seems pointless. After years of dreaming of having my own platform, and a couple of years of actually using some of them, now? Now it's just like water running in an open sink. A waste of resources. Of what little constructive thought I still have. My health is declining. I have all the signs of all the diseases. Heart attack, liver failure, brain tumor, cancer, all of them. If I see the other side of 58 it'll be a damn miracle. And what will I do with that miracle? Ugh.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Kids Today

Hey Mike. Look, I know you always wanted a kid - on our first option to become parents you very vividly made the case that "If we have a kid and teach it to play drums, we'll always have a drummer" - or you may have said it on the occasion of our second chance to have a kid. But either or both times, it struck me as not the best way to approach parenthood. Of course, in hindsight, there's never a best time, or way to have kids. That being said, I am currently both super happy to not be responsible for the aboslute monstrosity of a generation that "Z" is - because in my head, I was all set to regret that I won't have anyone to take care of me in my old age (should I manage to live that long) and relived that none of this bullshit is my fault. Lately though, I don't know if any kid I would have had would give two shits about me (or you) at this point anyway. I mean the one kid you did have has changed their gender, and seems fully on board (as one wou...

Kiss Off

Hey Mike. Wallowing a bunch lately - but then I try and spin it, because what if I end up like my mom not being able to remember ANYTHING? Might as well roll around in it while I still can - especially as this fucking flat patch of life is really a slog. Anyway, the Violent Femmes came on my Sp*tify feed and I immediately thought about one of my earliest dates with you (possibly the earliest? Hard to remember, since it's all so rum-soaked and speed-blended). That Violent Femmes show that I only remember from the seats in Van Duzer (I think - it was definitely a theater, so I think that was the only HSU location then for that?) and definitely, as I'm doing a deep dive into VF, explains my affinity for Jonathan Richman. Though I still hate the Blister song that has been played out, they are pretty damn punk rock and arty and all of that weirdo energy I loved about punk initially. I remember ripping down a VF poster off a pole, though literally do not remember if that was before ...

Since you've been gone.

Hi. I've been meaning to write for a while, but to be honest, it's hard where to know where to start. So many weird, little things happen over the days that remind me of you, or of someone, we both know (knew?) that I should probably be scribbling it down, because...well, my memory is not getting any better these days. You've been gone almost a year now buddy, and though I hadn't seen you physically in years, the good ol' internet allowed us to stay in touch anyway. It's hard to explain to people, even the people closest to me how strange it is to not have you around even in just the greater sense of the world. If anything, it has made me very aware of how much I was living in the moment (which is, honestly just a romantic way of saying "not paying attention") and that I am always looking for context in the things that happen locally and globally. You were absolutely a yardstick for a certain type of context, and I miss it, even though (and I suppose i...