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yikes.

Hey Mike, I dunno where to even start, but how about with this: George Will calling for a purge of Senate Republicans. This coming minutes after the Mango Mussolini has declared that he's gonna activate the military to put down the protests and looting that have been happening in the 4 days since George Floyd was murdered by a cop, which of course happened after two other basically public lynchings, which have been happening our whole lives, but toss in a pandemic, which has put tons of people in limbo, and boom goes the dynamite. Right at this moment (5pm, 6/1) helicopters are overhead - and 2 blocks from my apartment (city hall) the streets are filled, again, with protesters. I feel like a pathetic wretch of a person not being out there, but my knee is fucked up, and, well, I've been trying not to get too upset. Being face to face with confused kids and angry cops isn't gonna help, and I'm probably days, or maybe months from a heart attack or somehting anyway. The point is Mike: I do not have anyone to commiserate with about this. I mean, a little bit with Lia, but my family can't sustain the stress, Karen and Ken are keeping it at arms length, and everyone else I know is...gone. I dunno man, I just am so fucking torn. I mean, I love watching this system fall apart, and can see loads of parallels that make me think if we can survive Trump, (I mean, they made it through Nixon, right?) then we get malaise, then more neo-facisism? Or do we get some Merkel-esque time? Is democracy done? What thefuckcomesnext? ... Later, as I followed along on Twitter, I will say this: there are good protesters out there, doing the good work. Clearly, it's a young person's game (guess it always has been) because they were marching up and down Pike and Pine for hours, bouncing between the cop shop on the Hill, and trying to get to the downtown headquarters/City Hall where they started. Plus, there is so much live footage, the flashpoint from last night, when a cop took a fuschia umbrella from a protester, and then the tear gas started. On 11th avenue. Where the Hill festival should be happening right now for fuck's sake. They also communicated where there were safe spaces, people who lived in the area offering shelter and rides out of the city - kind of amazing and encouraging. Sure, the arguement could be made: there is a curfew, and these 300+ people were breaking it, but do we let the leaders tell us when to go to bed? Weve already let them shut our lives down. I don't think they fully comprehend the giant anthropological mistake they are making right now. The powers that be have let the natives (and by that i mean the service class, not just people of color, but it isn't safe to equate my social issues with everyone elses: BUT IT FUCKING IS. This is about the poor and how we are treated like fucking worker bees) get restless for going on 3 months now. It was unwise. In other hilarious and weird news, FB employees went on a "virtual strike" yesterday? Weird, but if that is all the middle class can do, then bully for them. As I listened to the helicopters and sirens and booms and pops, I also was struck by how it affected the homeless in my neighborhood. There is always the occasional crazy scream or rant, but the howls that the helicopters and riot forces brought out made me worry about the amount of war vets that are out unhoused, hearing what sounds and appears like war going on around us. This shit is bad. I am not happy that people think Biden is the answer for this shit, but maybe if he can awaken the guy I dug so much in the late 80's and early 90's it would be a start. I am just honestly astounded that now everyone seems to be as pissed off as I have been with America for my entire life. Shit man, the constant sirens and helicopters over the last few days is doing my head in.I love my city, and have been holding tight to the idea that if we just hang on, this Amazon shit will pass like microsoft did and we will regroup and be the weirdo city I have always loved. But it's ooking grim. Plus, I dont know where even would be better? I guess Lia is right, out to the hills and live in a shed with the raccoons or something. I dunno, I dunno.

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