Skip to main content

april fools

Hi Mike. It's about an hour before sunset, and the sky is super clear, blue and the sun is that northern late afternoon deep blue that always makes me so happy to live here. I'm watching seagulls just glide around on the updrafts - that's how you know it's getting warmer - or at least that the evening is gonna be cooler than the day, cause as the sun goes down the hot air rises (or cold settles? i forget, but it's one of those) and the birds just soar in between the buildings. Its one of my favorite parts of this tiny studio of mine, is that it's on the twelfth floor and the building across the way is only 6 stories, so there is ample room for birds to do all sorts of crazy maneuvers. I have watched a lot of seagull tv in the last eight years, and definitely in the last 4 weeks, when everything has just stopped. It looks like the federal government is actually going to go all Scandinavian for a bit, and throw out a stimulus check AND bump unemployment up (for me) more than double. If this actually happens, I expect the fucking savages will start doing a lot of weird shit. This town though MIke, what about Seattle? I'm perplexed at how this town is going to come out of this, because everyone who makes Seattle what it is (and really, any city what it is) the artists, the crafts people, the working folk who add color and passion and personality to this stupid tech nightmare, are all getting squashed. I have been saying for almost 5 years now that Amazon is not sustainable. Them being the sole provider of stuff is fucking a joke. They have a monopoly on the culture. With this virus happening, the entire lifestyle that they have unleashed on the world is interestingly the only one that is ok right now. Stay home, alone, do your work alone at home to keep the borg running, and then have a small subsection of the population cater to you via delivery. I fucking have never wanted to burn this shit to the ground more than ever. I mean, burn it down, but also burrow under my comforter really high and never, ever go back to work again. I mean, this is a shitty way for the human race to go out, but whatever. I've had a good run, and my liver and heart are obviously on shaky ground, so: I'm just gonna keep going out to walk my dog without a damn mask. I'm going to not panic. Suddenly watching the rest of the world live paycheck to paycheck (or at least not know when they can partake of the things they enjoy again) and day to day is kind of...what...satisfying? Kinda. I dunno. I'm not sure what comes next, but if I make it without ending up in debtors prison, or in a sanitorium, (will we have those again?) or in a pit of corpses somewhere because i am a childless old woman, so be it.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Kids Today

Hey Mike. Look, I know you always wanted a kid - on our first option to become parents you very vividly made the case that "If we have a kid and teach it to play drums, we'll always have a drummer" - or you may have said it on the occasion of our second chance to have a kid. But either or both times, it struck me as not the best way to approach parenthood. Of course, in hindsight, there's never a best time, or way to have kids. That being said, I am currently both super happy to not be responsible for the aboslute monstrosity of a generation that "Z" is - because in my head, I was all set to regret that I won't have anyone to take care of me in my old age (should I manage to live that long) and relived that none of this bullshit is my fault. Lately though, I don't know if any kid I would have had would give two shits about me (or you) at this point anyway. I mean the one kid you did have has changed their gender, and seems fully on board (as one wou...
Post a Comment
Read more

Kiss Off

Hey Mike. Wallowing a bunch lately - but then I try and spin it, because what if I end up like my mom not being able to remember ANYTHING? Might as well roll around in it while I still can - especially as this fucking flat patch of life is really a slog. Anyway, the Violent Femmes came on my Sp*tify feed and I immediately thought about one of my earliest dates with you (possibly the earliest? Hard to remember, since it's all so rum-soaked and speed-blended). That Violent Femmes show that I only remember from the seats in Van Duzer (I think - it was definitely a theater, so I think that was the only HSU location then for that?) and definitely, as I'm doing a deep dive into VF, explains my affinity for Jonathan Richman. Though I still hate the Blister song that has been played out, they are pretty damn punk rock and arty and all of that weirdo energy I loved about punk initially. I remember ripping down a VF poster off a pole, though literally do not remember if that was before ...
Post a Comment
Read more

Since you've been gone.

Hi. I've been meaning to write for a while, but to be honest, it's hard where to know where to start. So many weird, little things happen over the days that remind me of you, or of someone, we both know (knew?) that I should probably be scribbling it down, because...well, my memory is not getting any better these days. You've been gone almost a year now buddy, and though I hadn't seen you physically in years, the good ol' internet allowed us to stay in touch anyway. It's hard to explain to people, even the people closest to me how strange it is to not have you around even in just the greater sense of the world. If anything, it has made me very aware of how much I was living in the moment (which is, honestly just a romantic way of saying "not paying attention") and that I am always looking for context in the things that happen locally and globally. You were absolutely a yardstick for a certain type of context, and I miss it, even though (and I suppose i...
Post a Comment
Read more