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april fools

Hi Mike. It's about an hour before sunset, and the sky is super clear, blue and the sun is that northern late afternoon deep blue that always makes me so happy to live here. I'm watching seagulls just glide around on the updrafts - that's how you know it's getting warmer - or at least that the evening is gonna be cooler than the day, cause as the sun goes down the hot air rises (or cold settles? i forget, but it's one of those) and the birds just soar in between the buildings. Its one of my favorite parts of this tiny studio of mine, is that it's on the twelfth floor and the building across the way is only 6 stories, so there is ample room for birds to do all sorts of crazy maneuvers. I have watched a lot of seagull tv in the last eight years, and definitely in the last 4 weeks, when everything has just stopped. It looks like the federal government is actually going to go all Scandinavian for a bit, and throw out a stimulus check AND bump unemployment up (for me) more than double. If this actually happens, I expect the fucking savages will start doing a lot of weird shit. This town though MIke, what about Seattle? I'm perplexed at how this town is going to come out of this, because everyone who makes Seattle what it is (and really, any city what it is) the artists, the crafts people, the working folk who add color and passion and personality to this stupid tech nightmare, are all getting squashed. I have been saying for almost 5 years now that Amazon is not sustainable. Them being the sole provider of stuff is fucking a joke. They have a monopoly on the culture. With this virus happening, the entire lifestyle that they have unleashed on the world is interestingly the only one that is ok right now. Stay home, alone, do your work alone at home to keep the borg running, and then have a small subsection of the population cater to you via delivery. I fucking have never wanted to burn this shit to the ground more than ever. I mean, burn it down, but also burrow under my comforter really high and never, ever go back to work again. I mean, this is a shitty way for the human race to go out, but whatever. I've had a good run, and my liver and heart are obviously on shaky ground, so: I'm just gonna keep going out to walk my dog without a damn mask. I'm going to not panic. Suddenly watching the rest of the world live paycheck to paycheck (or at least not know when they can partake of the things they enjoy again) and day to day is kind of...what...satisfying? Kinda. I dunno. I'm not sure what comes next, but if I make it without ending up in debtors prison, or in a sanitorium, (will we have those again?) or in a pit of corpses somewhere because i am a childless old woman, so be it.

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